Child is the Father of Man
Parenthood is a rewarding experience. For 18 years our goal is to care and do the best for our off-springs.
It starts with amazement when you first lay eyes on your baby. Soon you find yourself doing things that no baby blogs or books ever mention. I sniff my son's butt several times a day. It must make for a funny picture I am sure - I place him belly-down on my elbow, prop his butt up and sniff away! And if that's not enough I also analyze his poop each time for color, texture & consistency. When my daughter was in an exploratory mission in her second year of life, she regularly dug out her diaper-deposits out of curiosity and revealed them to me. During one such display, when I wasn't paying much attention, I inadvertently placed her fingers to the tip of my tongue and actually tasted it before realizing what I did! Yes, I finally DID IT! I tasted SHIT - literally! In case you are interested to know, it tastes bitter!
That's right. Besides that of a parent, kids also confer us with some less-honorable titles - butt-sniffer, poop-analyzer, poop-exploration-victim, burp victim, poop-explosion victim and the list goes on. I have a whole plethora of poop-anecdotes, but I don't like where this is going so I am going to stop spewing out 'shit'. But what ever titles we may don and what ever skill-sets we my acquire in our new role as parents, the most important skill of them all is Patience. Yes, I said patience is a skill because it is developed, honed and perfected over time like any other. Patience is not a quality that we are born with. But at some point in our lives we learn to be patient, and no other job requires and teaches more patience than rearing a child.
I try think back to those days when I was a toddler and wonder was I a tough one, did I yell, disobey or back talk? I most certainly must have, because that is what toddlers do. I perceive my mom as being more patient than me. I wonder if she got that way after she became a mom. Not many things about me remind me of my mom. But many a time my daughter reminds me of myself as a little girl. As she gets older and more articulate, its getting harder for me to keep my temper in check. For instance, bed-time is usually a potential battle ground for my high-energy toddler. I try to check my four-year old in to bed by 7.00 pm so that she falls asleep within an hour. But as days get longer, its still quite bright in Seattle at 7.00 pm. So my announcement of "Its bed-time" is met with a high-decibel, defiant retort - "you're lying"!! As it turns out, my little drama queen doesn't take kindly to being duped in to bed-time. But she is too young to understand the concept of earth's rotation in its tilted axis that causes climactic changes which in turn affects the durations if night & day; yet too old to be tricked in to bedtime. Little white lies like Wee-Willie-Winkie will come to check on you, so you better be in bed, used to work. Not anymore. My trusting little naïve baby is growing and in her world, I am her enemy. So when explaining things doesn't work, after a couple a yelling bouts, I loose it and after that point it always ends in tears.
These series of events are normally repeated during meal time & nap time everyday. As my daughter gets older, she wants to make more decisions, has more opinions and demands, which if not conceded to, makes a perfect recipe for a tonsil battle between the two of us. Kids have a mind of their own. But by experience I have learned that its best to listen to their opinions and accept their demands just as long as they are not unreasonable. This saves a lot of time, energy and mental stress for everyone. Thus begins a mom's enlightenment and with it a crash course on how to reign your temper when you don't have your way with your kid. We gradually learn that its ok to give in and wait for things to take their course, that stress free parenting is no myth, that in choosing when to let kids have their way lies prudence and not in trying to have your way at all times, that as they get smarter we have to have to too, that the trick is to let them think that they have the control.
So instead of yelling "Bed time!!" I ask her if she would like to read one or two books before bed time. I know her enough to know that she always says 'two', so I am already prepared for that. I softly inform her looking and sounding really concerned that if she wants to read two books, then she better check in right away or else we have to cut down on reading time. My daughter loves reading so she immediately turns her attention from what ever she was doing and quickly jumps in to bed. And because she thinks she has had her way by getting to read two books instead of her usual quota of one, she is pleased with her achievement and forgets all about resisting bed-time. A complacent mother and complacent daughter (although for different reasons) happily get through bed-time. No yelling or melt downs. Mission accomplished.
Us parents like to think that we do every thing for the benefit of our kids. But the truth here is that I was benefited more than my daughter because she has unwittingly taught me to be more creative, understand her better and above all, be more patient thus making me a better parent. Child is the father of man.
It starts with amazement when you first lay eyes on your baby. Soon you find yourself doing things that no baby blogs or books ever mention. I sniff my son's butt several times a day. It must make for a funny picture I am sure - I place him belly-down on my elbow, prop his butt up and sniff away! And if that's not enough I also analyze his poop each time for color, texture & consistency. When my daughter was in an exploratory mission in her second year of life, she regularly dug out her diaper-deposits out of curiosity and revealed them to me. During one such display, when I wasn't paying much attention, I inadvertently placed her fingers to the tip of my tongue and actually tasted it before realizing what I did! Yes, I finally DID IT! I tasted SHIT - literally! In case you are interested to know, it tastes bitter!
That's right. Besides that of a parent, kids also confer us with some less-honorable titles - butt-sniffer, poop-analyzer, poop-exploration-victim, burp victim, poop-explosion victim and the list goes on. I have a whole plethora of poop-anecdotes, but I don't like where this is going so I am going to stop spewing out 'shit'. But what ever titles we may don and what ever skill-sets we my acquire in our new role as parents, the most important skill of them all is Patience. Yes, I said patience is a skill because it is developed, honed and perfected over time like any other. Patience is not a quality that we are born with. But at some point in our lives we learn to be patient, and no other job requires and teaches more patience than rearing a child.
I try think back to those days when I was a toddler and wonder was I a tough one, did I yell, disobey or back talk? I most certainly must have, because that is what toddlers do. I perceive my mom as being more patient than me. I wonder if she got that way after she became a mom. Not many things about me remind me of my mom. But many a time my daughter reminds me of myself as a little girl. As she gets older and more articulate, its getting harder for me to keep my temper in check. For instance, bed-time is usually a potential battle ground for my high-energy toddler. I try to check my four-year old in to bed by 7.00 pm so that she falls asleep within an hour. But as days get longer, its still quite bright in Seattle at 7.00 pm. So my announcement of "Its bed-time" is met with a high-decibel, defiant retort - "you're lying"!! As it turns out, my little drama queen doesn't take kindly to being duped in to bed-time. But she is too young to understand the concept of earth's rotation in its tilted axis that causes climactic changes which in turn affects the durations if night & day; yet too old to be tricked in to bedtime. Little white lies like Wee-Willie-Winkie will come to check on you, so you better be in bed, used to work. Not anymore. My trusting little naïve baby is growing and in her world, I am her enemy. So when explaining things doesn't work, after a couple a yelling bouts, I loose it and after that point it always ends in tears.
These series of events are normally repeated during meal time & nap time everyday. As my daughter gets older, she wants to make more decisions, has more opinions and demands, which if not conceded to, makes a perfect recipe for a tonsil battle between the two of us. Kids have a mind of their own. But by experience I have learned that its best to listen to their opinions and accept their demands just as long as they are not unreasonable. This saves a lot of time, energy and mental stress for everyone. Thus begins a mom's enlightenment and with it a crash course on how to reign your temper when you don't have your way with your kid. We gradually learn that its ok to give in and wait for things to take their course, that stress free parenting is no myth, that in choosing when to let kids have their way lies prudence and not in trying to have your way at all times, that as they get smarter we have to have to too, that the trick is to let them think that they have the control.
So instead of yelling "Bed time!!" I ask her if she would like to read one or two books before bed time. I know her enough to know that she always says 'two', so I am already prepared for that. I softly inform her looking and sounding really concerned that if she wants to read two books, then she better check in right away or else we have to cut down on reading time. My daughter loves reading so she immediately turns her attention from what ever she was doing and quickly jumps in to bed. And because she thinks she has had her way by getting to read two books instead of her usual quota of one, she is pleased with her achievement and forgets all about resisting bed-time. A complacent mother and complacent daughter (although for different reasons) happily get through bed-time. No yelling or melt downs. Mission accomplished.
Us parents like to think that we do every thing for the benefit of our kids. But the truth here is that I was benefited more than my daughter because she has unwittingly taught me to be more creative, understand her better and above all, be more patient thus making me a better parent. Child is the father of man.
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